Hey everyone! I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost 3 months. He is wonderful in every way, he is very serious about us, we share the same values about relationships, marriage, family, child-raising, he is very supportive and understands me, he's unbelievably romantic and a gentleman and i can say in every way he is just the ideal person for me. The only thing that troubles me in this relationship is that he is studying to be a lawyer and that means he can only get work in finland (where we live right now). I'm half finnish and speak finnish perfectly so it's not a problem but a half of me is lebanese and i grew up in southern California (my parents live there) and i don't know if i want to spend the rest of my life here in Finland. I absolutely hate the cold weather and am not that fond of the people here. I'm sort of an artistic hippy without a real home, I traveled all of my childhood and my dream has always been to travel around the world without a destination because I feel it's who I am. I feel he is too "germanic" and orderly to ever let loose like that... He's very proud as a person and I'm more of a free soul... I feel like I am sacrificing my dream for this relationship, but then again, he feels too good to even be true, I think he has that security I have always lacked in my life and that is very scary for me, but I don't know if I can ever get used to living in one place for the rest of my life, especially since that place is not a warm place... Is this a good enough reason to find someone else who will explore the world with me? I am afraid I would regret my decision for the rest of my life... Please help! What would you do? Do you have similar experiences?
Marriage & Divorce - 10 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
no it cant work out. hippies give free love. and lawyers charge like wounded bulls lol.
2 :
Well I understand that you must compromise in a relationship but when you tell me that you feel you are sacrificing your dream for a relationship. The honest truth is that it shouldn't be like you're suffocating to death and sacrificing your dreams for this relationship. I'm sorry to say that sooner or later, you mind end up resenting the fact that you have had to sacrifice your dreams. Its important to date someone that has the same life goals that you do. Yes opposites can work, its been done many times, but opposites need to have the same life values and the same life goals. I understand about you wanting to be free because I share your same view about travel. I love to travel. But is there a way that you can do both? In my ideal relationship, I would want a home somewhere with my bf/husband but also the ability to travel all over the world. Is there a way that you and he can give it a fair shot before giving up? If this relationship is good then please give it a shot and see if you can try to make it work, and if you can't then perhaps its best to move on. I wish you good luck in whatever you do.
3 :
You need to decide what you want. Just remember, to joint (a relationship) you will need to pay dues. What dues are you willing to pay? Once you decide what you want the rest is easy.
4 :
I think you answered your own question. You don't need to hear about my personal experience. You know that you will regret staying. Take today’s emotions out of the equation and although you may also regret the decision to not take the security, that choice would eventually suffocate you. I believe you already understand this.
5 :
you can still travel to lebanon in vacations, u can live and have a permanent address in finland but who said u cant travel?
6 :
I would sit down with a piece of paper and list the pros and cons of this relationship. Whichever side wins, that is what you should do regarding staying in Finland or following your dream.
7 :
Yes Dharma, yes Greg...
8 :
It's going to be 75 today here in Los Angeles. I'll be wearing my shorts and working the the yard. Ya, sure, you bet ya.
9 :
Life is to enjoy, not endure! I have a concern for you, as you may be selling your happiness, for security! I'm from the ole hippie days, which, I still hold some of the values(yes values). It's a lifestyle, and nothing more! When your "profession becomes your lifestyle", you become the slave to it! slave or free for me , it's free good luck
10 :
I suggest you'd each be happier with someone more like yourselves.
